Dad, It has taken me so long to come back here. I have wanted to put some thoughts down but I just could not do it. I just had to hold it at bay. Stupid, I know, but I feel as if I have left you down. We have so many memories of Christmas's past and hopefully I will be able to come back soon and recite some of them. Christmas, all year around, is not the same without you and mam. This is the first year without you but throughout the past few weeks I have for a split second thought what do I get you for Christmas and what arrangements are we going to make with you for Christmas Day. I don't think of the last couple of years, it is as if they did not happen. It was all the years before that that I remember. Thinking of you always Love Chris