You and mam came to visit us in Littleport Camb's on one occassion, that was the first time I found out how ill mam was. You explained to me over a few whisky's after everyone had gone to bed that mam was very ill but she wanted to make the journey to see her grandkids. Also that she would put on a brave face and some how find the energy to go out with us every time we came to Wales on a visit; she hid it so well I had no idea she had cancer. For this and the fact the room was spinning through drinking too much I had to get some fresh air once you had gone to bed, the night air hit me and I threw up all over the front garden. The following morning mam asked me why I was planting carrots in the front garden? The next time you came to visit was on your own we went for a drink in the local pub. You befriended the landlord as usual and we stayed until gone 1am, you even helped him to straighten his wig. We sat up again drinking and talking this time we really went to town and went through a litre bottle of whisky and eventually you went to bed at 3am. I was better prepared this time and knew that I to get some air before going to bed. Only this time I had left the wheel barrow outside the front door so I picked it up and went for a walk out of the village? Yes I knew I would throw up but did not want to do it near the house hence within a short distance I threw up into the wheel barrow and went down a country lane and tipped the load into a small stream? I had a really odd look from a police car who stopped but they did not ask any questions as they could smell the remains of the contents; I simply said in the stream ! "They said good lad off to bed now". I was shocked to see that 7am you were up washed shaved and ready to catch your train, I barely made it down the stairs let alone drive you to the station. Brenda had already guessed this would happen and was up and ready to take you. I miss those occassions my own private moments with you, even though it was hard to remember what we actually said that did not matter simply enjoying your company was enough.